The hardest thing about accepting things you cannot change, is accepting things you don’t like. Accepting things as they are, not as you would like them to be is plain difficult for me.
Everything that has a beginning has an ending. Make your peace with that and all will be well – The Buddha
For the last two weeks or so I’ve been wallowing in a ditch of self-pity. Things are not going my way at all, on virtually every level. I’ve been trying to accept it, and find the meaning from the experience to allow me to move on, but that has been proving difficult. As usual I’ve retreated deep into my man cave. And now I have finally got round to doing what I’ve done since I was a young teenager when I’m feeling desperate and lonely.
And that’s not what you’re probably thinking; no I put on The Who’s masterpiece album, Quadrophenia. It’s my go to album when I’m feeling shit. I identify with it because I am so much like the central character, Jimmy, in that I am still searching for self-worth and importance.
Maybe I should have grown out of this angst by now! But its appearance throughout my life makes me realise that I always do this when I’m coming to the end of another life cycle, and I’m just finally making peace with that. The album’s message to me always arrives in the finale – Love Reign O’er Me. However shit things are there is always something to cling on to give me hope of a better future. It’s a very long-winded, and often painful, way of reaching an understanding, but to quote my man Buddha again…
To understand everything is to forgive everything
To move on I need to forgive. Forgive my current list of perceived wrong doers. Forgiveness of course is the polar opposite of revenge and is so much more powerful. Revenge is always an act of knee jerk emotion and only ever succeeds in festering resentments. Forgiveness allows you to understand the actions of those you don’t agree with. Forgiving them is not weakness. In my opinion it is the ultimate act of strength, because it allows you to make proper choices. Choices made out of love rather than hate are surely the best solutions. I maybe seeking a new path to follow, but I have to be freed from the baggage of the past. The only way to do that is to forgive and live in the moment. Let go of what was, accept what is and have faith in what will be.
The pictures accompanying this post are all versions of a photograph I took of the Buddha hanging on the wall in my kitchen. It was an artefact rescued from Ron Tiki Bar, one of my favourite ever places. Anyway, a couple of nights ago I walked into my kitchen without switching on the light. Buddha was glowing and whilst the flash doesn’t capture the image as it appeared it gave me enough inspiration to work with. There is something that draws me to religious artwork and iconography. Maybe its because like all art, it comes from a place deep within the soul of its creator.
The other pictures are my interpretations of a photograph of a beach somewhere in Northumbria. My friend Suzanne captured the original shot last weekend. She kindly sent it to me to work with, as she knew I was locking myself away, and not taking many photos myself. Although I love capturing images myself, the main enjoyment for me is in the editing as it allows me to explore the subject from different perspectives.
Ronnie xx
