This blog came about from an introspective analysis of myself through therapy sessions. I embarked on this course of action after reaching rock bottom again, and self-isolating long before it became the law. Outside of work situations or meeting up with my daughters, especially since the football season was suspended, I rarely had face-to-face conversations with anyone else. Weekends could often end with my only social interactions being with shop check out staff.
My manager at work, recognising how unhealthy this was, pointed me in the right direction. I rang a number (it was on the back of a toilet door at work, next to the for a good time call… messages). I spoke. A few days later I got a call from Dr M. An appointment was made and I plunged right in. Only the first meeting was at her office, the subsequent ones were socially distanced WhatsApp sessions.
The result was an often-painful journey to the root of my issues. No need to go there now though. However, a major thing that came out of the sessions was my tendency to drift into negativity. I had always thought of myself as a positive person. Clearly I overlooked the piss taking analysis my friends dispensed regarding my rants and black moods, usually regarding things I had no hope of changing, such as referendum, football and election results.
My acceptance of things improves once I think about it and catch myself wallowing. The 12-Step programme certainly assisted with this, yet I could still turn a positive into a negative without breaking breath. But now I notice this drift quicker and find a way to redress the balance.
And that is how this – the photography and the artwork came about. I have discovered a sober relaxation method that is good for the mind, body and soul. It’s not destructive like booze and partying (if you don’t know how or when to stop that, it is destructive for some, and damaging in some way or another for most).
It’s about focusing in on the positive; finding a new view and mixing it around into different images.
Today’s work was inspired by taking a macro zoom image of a flower; then zooming further into the image, mixing & editing, whilst listening to Heliopause by Ann Muller, I got some results that I’m very pleased with. I hope you like them.
Ronnie xx
