Autumn thoughts

I am not a fan of Autumn. For me it’s the start of a personal darkness that reaches pitch black by the time of my birthday on 3rd November. These days I just don’t see the point of celebrating getting older, especially when approaching a landmark birthday. I will be 60 years old this time around. Free prescriptions and cheap rail fare to look forward to on one hand and another step towards an unwanted retirement (that I’ve now delayed by a further 3 years) on the other.

This morning was good though. My daughter Jordan came round and cooked an amazing breakfast before giving me some much needed respite from Betty, my gorgeous and very lively 12-week old puppy, by taking her back to her house for a short while. It allowed me to watch the football in peace and forget my fast approaching new decade, well at least for a couple of hours.

It is very hard for me when I get to my birthday not to reflect on my life and make a status report to myself. There have been more ups than downs for sure. I’m resilient and bounce back from everything negative that’s thrown at me. So I have a lot to be grateful for. Although I have to work hard not to overthink why I’m living in flat all on my own right now. Everything happens for a reason apparently. So I also have to constantly remind myself to look forward not back.

I want to make an effort to get out more but the pandemic, the dog waiting for her final jabs (releasing us from restrictions on where we can go walking), and a head cold is putting a bit of a block on that right now. But all in all, I’ll embrace the day on Tuesday. Accept the love that’s sent my way from those I care about the most. Celebrate that I am enjoying a new lease of life with my new job. Unload my self-pity on DrM (in a long overdue follow up call from my therapy sessions) and generally get on with doing stuff I enjoy.

I’ve not got out to take many photos recently due to puppy-care mainly, but I found some pics from early September and reworked them a bit with musical inspiration from Manchester jazz musician Matthew Halsall and his terrific Oneness album. And I included one of Betty from last weekend, because she is the dominant being in my life right now.

Next weekend I should be able to return to the canal, the park or the hills with Betty in tow. Whether she will give me the freedom to take photos of anything other than her, I just don’t know. But it will be interesting finding out.

Ronnie xx